Dec 31, 2009

On the Island

There is no police presence on French Island. That is why at the end of the pier you will find rows of rusted, dented, unregistered, number plate-less vehicles. Interestingly, many of these salted wrecks have locks on their bonnets and fuel doors...and one car is adorned in astroturf. Island Law, I am assured, runs smoothly.

Dec 6, 2009


One of my all time favourite op-shop treasures – a red light globe filled with 140 matches with the metaphorical tag ‘Light Up!’ I keep that close, on the discarded hall table that serves as a computer station. And another, a relic from the Darebin Resource Recovery Centre (aka Darebin tip). This was before they built the soulless tin shed, tripled their prices and ditched half of their staff. I found this collage on a piece of rough hewn corrugated board, lost amongst the paperbacks, and took it to the counter for pricing. They said I could have it for free. I walked away feeling like I’d found a Pollock in an op-shop for a song. I like to imagine the Nonna that pieced it together from devotional cards kept from homeland churches, cutting down a fruit box with the blunt scissors she stored in the kitchen drawer. Many of my friends just find this creepy.

Dec 5, 2009

Are We Not Human?

I may have to start a band called 'The Human Body', just to use this as the cover art for the debut self-titled EP. Typophiles, please enjoy the 'O' and the 'D', and that snug little 'Y'.

Nov 19, 2009

Mug shots

The above mug has been charged with crimes against taste. It was whiling away the hours in the ‘please-take-me’ box of a country garage sale, until it got a second chance in the city. Below are some other mugs I have taken under my wing. A bit of tough love with a drill bit & they are now fully rehabilitated.

Nov 1, 2009

You say Potato, I say Dear God!

Above left, an old postcard. Above right, true horror, Freddy Krueger style. I took that photo 7 miles east of Fredrickton, New Brunswick, on the Trans Canadian Highway. So it seems Australians don’t have a monopoly on unsettling monolithic sculptures. Speaking of which, look at this splendid lobster, found somewhere in South Australia, a feverish childhood memory, circa 1980's family road trip. Which sculpture is scarier? Discuss.

Oct 18, 2009

Getting there / being there

I'm allergic to bees but I like honey. I spotted this one at the tram stop on the weekend. My last encounter with a bee involved it stinging me on the top of my head and going to Emergency at 3 AM with a brain crushing migraine and lymph nodes strung like a bunch of grapes around my neck. Encouraged by the prospect of trawling the hard rubbish on the streets of Malvern I was fearless. Last year I scored in this council zone, but this year was a bit disappointing. It seems the GFC has effected the quality of hard rubbish in this rather affluent suburb. Yes, it's that serious! There was plenty of actual rubble, not the haphazard piles of promising miscellanea I affectionately refer to as rubble. And countless bundles of foliage (yawn). This mattress below was perhaps the nicest thing I saw. The strangest thing was 4 half empty bottles of Cinzano. At least that's what the labels said, it was a bit too early for sampling. I left them for wayward children. I hope they are not too busy playing on the computer to rummage and pilfer. Kids these days....

Oct 12, 2009

Food Therapy (continued)

Look what I found in my mailbox today.... a flyer from the Chinese Food Therapy Restaurant! (see post from Sep 13th, 2009) The good news is fried chicken cures everything. I plan to take my 'unable treated disease' there soon. I'll be sure to avoid the Lotus Seed Soup...

Oct 11, 2009

First aid, second hand

Every body hurts. Prepare yourself.

Tree Vs Coke

Sharks eat metal and so do trees. (At least trees in Italy do.) And so begins Nature's Great Revenge...

Oct 5, 2009

iSnack on Oz mite (v.3.0)?

Oz Mite....then again Oz Mite not. Are the marketing team from Kraft getting all their ideas from 2nd hand knock-off badges from Camberwell Market? Probably!

Sep 27, 2009

Do my wheels look big in this?

No honey, you look great, it really suits you.

Sep 21, 2009

Spring hoarding

Today’s op-shop booty will encourage me to practice my hospital corners, dry my dishes, apply sterile dressings to wounds, play chess, learn the mandolin and rescue my touring maps from being trampled to shreds on the floor of my car.

Sep 14, 2009

Look no further

...and that should just about cover it
(High St, Thornbury)

Sep 11, 2009

Under the house

It pays to look under your mum's house. Not only because you've secretly stored things there that won't fit in your own flat / house / teepee. Of course, you'll have to brave the thought of spiders and rats as you crawl under the ducted heating anacondas, but if you do, you may discover a charming rusty Marx truck like this one! Then you can put it on the shelf to remind yourself how brave you were as a teenager.

Mystery item

Every day is hard rubbish day on my flat lined street. This is mostly ugly but sometimes rewarding. I recently noticed a plastic bag on the nature strip, bulging with promise. Inside I found a bunch of obsolete phone chargers, a pair of scissors and this.....

What is this mystery object? Turns out it is an old acoustic guitar pick-up. Yes, it fits, it works, and now I can grunge-ify any ol’ folk song I choose. Or I can just amplify the dulcet tones of my parlour size guitar. I’m afraid I’m halfway to being that busker that mystifies you on the way home from work.


For the princely sum of $2.50 I invested in this piece of op-shop-mod-art. 'Shroomadelic! Is this an original design? That dumpy one on the left looks wrong enough to be the unique creation of a slightly bent mind.

Sep 9, 2009

Deranged puppets, 1971

The best 5 cents I've ever spent...