Survival with vinyl

Problem - a day off work sick with the flu, unable to function normally.

Solution - spin some rescued $1 vinyl and don't fight it!

I have determined the record 'Golden Mexican Hits for Dancing Vol. 6' is especially good for the hallucinatory aspects of the flu, while Francoise Hardy helps when your brain simply can't operate in English mode anymore & suddenly, miraculously, can understand French. Also, Roberta Flack is good in the bath.

Shabby Sheik (yes, really!)

"Lassie survives a fierce Australian dust storm, only to have her life threatened by a dangerous criminal"

Choice cuts

I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure I know where the 'butt' & 'jowl' stickers really belong on this pig.

1, 2, 3, GO!

Monophonic and hopelessly outmoded, its white keys have yellowed with the years like teeth. Cheesy preset rhythms + gorgeous warm chord keys = hours of fun... plus, it can be tuned with a screwdriver! We remember 1983 for the Casio PT-50, and bless those country op shops.

The Wedding Present

For some, there may come a time in life when you can peacefully place the wedding present your deceased mother gave you in the council hard rubbish collection. This is the story of this ceramic jug. As I was marvelling at its pristine condition an elderly gent came outside his house to ensure I had found it and recounted its provenance, replete with an English wedding. As he is now retired and moving interstate with his wife, he decided to dispose of many of his possessions. (Even so, the wedding present your mother gave you?) I admire and am confused by this outlook, which seems both evolved and just a little bit too practical. At this moment I side with the ancient Egyptians, in the sense I’d like to carry significant objects with me in case I collide with the afterlife. Besides which, a sizeable pyramid would come in handy for containing all my booty.